Enabling is defined as reacting to a
person in such a way as to shield him or her from experiencing the full impact
of the harmful consequences of behavior. Enabling behavior differs from helping
in that it permits or allows the person to be irresponsible.
PROTECTION from natural consequences of behavior.
KEEPING SECRETS about behavior from others in order to keep peace.
MAKING EXCUSES for the behavior. (School, friends, legal authorities, work, other family
members)
BAILING OUT of trouble. (Debts, fixing tickets, paying lawyers, providing jobs)
BLAMING OTHERS for the dependent person’s behavior. (Friends, teachers, employers,
family, SELF)
SEEING THE PROBLEM AS THE RESULT OF
SOMETHING ELSE.
(Shyness, adolescence, loneliness,
child, broken home)
AVOIDING the chemically dependent person in order to keep the peace. (out-of-sight,
out-of-mind)
GIVING MONEY THAT IS UNDESERVED/UNEARNED
ATTEMPTING TO CONTROL. (Planning activities, choosing friends, getting jobs)
MAKING THREATS that have no follow-through or consistency.
TAKING CARE of the chemically dependent person. Doing what they should be expected to
do for themselves.
